Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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