How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
