What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
