I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
