After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
