physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
