literally had 100 drinks last night.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
