How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think people are normalizing furries
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
