we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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