I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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