It's Friday. Sex?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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