Whod you bang
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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