i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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