I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
