I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Randomize
