we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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