she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize