So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
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