I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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