I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize