She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
