Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
