yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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