I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
