I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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