idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Screwed.edu
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
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