lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
