and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
