Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I bet he comes in French.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
