well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize