4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
