nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
