At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
