I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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