that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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