Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
