sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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