what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Randomize
