I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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