I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
