Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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