you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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