i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
