so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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