I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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