You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The air was thick with penises
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
