Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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