Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
