I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
