miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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