At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
