I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
