READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
