ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
