i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
