I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
where are my eyebrows?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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