I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
