did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
