Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
