Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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