I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
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