btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
