dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My dick has a subreddit
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
