He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
