Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So much rum. So many feels.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
