if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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