Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize